Some of you may have seen my status the other night mentioning about someone lecturing me about my son being at a baby sitters, at home with my boyfriend or with family while I am at work. Well, this little gem came from my ex husband. Just one more attempt to break me down so that he can get whatever he wants. Well, I usually get highly offended at the sheer thought of someone even accusing me of being a bad mother because my biggest goal in life is to be the best mother I can be. So, I made a decision on my hour long drive home last night that I was gonna stop being a victim and start standing up to my ex husband. I am no longer going to let him say what he wants or make me feel bad for anything. I may have been the one to ask for the divorce and he may have been hurt by that but what he did to me and our family was way worse than any pain I ever could have caused him. Regardless of who caused who more pain I believed from day one (and made him perfectly aware) that we still needed to be friendly and respectful for our son's sake. This is when he started with the attitude, I am still not sure to this day wether he is aware that the way he has been behaving since then is disrespectful or if he just doesn't care.
I watched the way his brother treated his ex wife and the fact that he doesn't pay child support for his two children all the while he is having another baby with his girlfriend, I've heard the horror stories about his mom and dad's divorce and we both swore on the day we were married that no matter what happened we would always remain friends and we would never stoop to that level. We agreed that we would remain respectful of each other and that we would not show our child(ren) how nasty and ugly divorce could really be. I have worked hard at this and everything I do is for my child, I have worked hard to try to overcome the anger and contempt I hold for him and the things he has done so that my son can have a happy life. After his behavior recently I fear that this no longer something I can do as well as I have in the past. Now, mind you, I still will not stoop to the level of bad mouthing the man in front of my son, I will do my best to make my son respect his father and when he is old enough then it will be his choice as to his feelings toward and relationship with his father based on his own information, just like his feelings and choice of relationship with me will be hopefully of his own decision and knowledge of information. I will always do everything possible to make sure I don't do anything to make my son hold a negative impression of me because of my actions. I will always stand by my son and honor his wishes and do my best to make sure he is happy, healthy and fulfilled in life.
My ex husband has a lot of skeletons currently hiding in his closet and some of them he may not realize that I know exist. He has burned a lot of bridges that he is going to need and our co parenting relationship is one of those bridges. I have done nothing wrong, I spend every minute that I am not at work with my son when I have him, 99% of the time he is only at a sitters (usually family) when I am at work. I apologize for the fact that I have a job, but this is the same job I have held since Keegan was 4 months old, it is ultimately the same schedule I have held for nearly 4 years now. When we were married it wasn't an issue that I couldn't spend 24 hours a day with my son ( no matter how bad I wanted to), It was ok that I had a job I was at for 4-5 days a week and worked 8-10 hours a day, I wasn't considered a bad mother for it....what's changed? Only thing I can see that has changed is that I am happy with someone else and he obviously isn't (as his skeletons will show once they fall out of the closet).
I am happy, I am a good mother and my son is a well mannered little boy who is loved by so many people. I don't wake daily with the worry of someone finding me and my lies out. I go to work, I come home and I support my son. He has clothes and food, he has health insurance, he is loved and happy and always smiling. He is my life and always will be, no matter what!
I have decided I am no longer going to let you hurt me and I am not going to be a victim anymore. I am mad as hell and I am not going to take the disrespect, attitude, or mistreatment anymore. I will not be treated like this any longer.
