Hi!
i know you are never going to believe that I am sending you this from your future, but there are going to be some major changes that you are going to go through and I want you to know that in the end, when the dust settles...you are going to be stronger than you are today and you will be a better person for all of it. I know right now your most important choice is whether you are gonna go to class or not, or what you Krissy and Kimmy are going to do Friday night. Enjoy it now, while you can. Now, I am not going to say that you don't have some pretty awesome times coming in your future, but there are some pitfalls that I think you need to know about.
1. There will be some people that will hurt you badly. You wear your heart on your sleeve and want to believe that everyone has good intentions, but this just is not the case. Some people have a mean streak, some people just don't know any better, and some people have the best of intentions and just make mistakes. Sometimes someone just can't love you enough to do what is best for you. Not every one is giving and unselfish, and that is ok. Your run in's with these people teach you some pretty important things and they are things that you need to know. At multiple points you will want to run and hide your heart, don't. Just trust me, be you and keep wearing that heart on your sleeve, it will get better and you will end up where you deserve to be.
2. Your son will be the MOST amazing thing to ever happen to you......point blank. He is funny and sweet and loves you more than any other human being ever could. He is going to need you (even when you think he doesn't). There will be times where you want to scream, pull your hair out and run away....but within minutes he will remind you why you won't ever really want to do it. He is really good at making you laugh after you've reached the end of your rope. Just remember..... MOST amazing thing ever created, and you did it.
3. There will come a day where you feel like your world is crashing down around you, a day where you have to make choices that you DO NOT want to make, but it will be ok. Things will get better, the dust will settle and you will survive. In time you will meet an amazing man who will make you feel like no one else ever has. He will love you more than anyone else ever cared to, and he will treat you like you matter. You deserve this, You will try to push him away (because this is what you are used to doing, get rid of them before they get rid of you, right?) but he will stand strong and not let you do it. He is the first man to be able to stand up to you and still love you at the same time, and while it is scarier than anything you have faced, it is absolutely worth every minute. And I promise it will not take you long to believe that you deserve it and you will be able to accept it and just be happy, really happy for the first time in your life. Embrace it.
Just remember, you are stronger than you think and you deserve more than what you will accept at first. It may take you a little bit but you will figure it all out and in the end you will be living the life you should be. It will never be a "privileged lifestyle" but it will be the most precious thing in the world to you. You will finally feel fulfilled, loved, treasured, brave, courageous, beautiful, capable and confident. I can't wait for you to see it, you are gonna be blown away.
D.
:)
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